People who, while on their cell phones, tell other people where they are.

Orange Juice from Concentrate

Orange Juice from Concentrate is just plain yucky. We are not astronauts currently on a mission, at least most of us aren't, those who are get a reprieve. So why do we need freeze-dried Orange Juice. But I ask you this liquor store next to Two Amys, why would I want to make a mimosa with a fine champagne like Andre and then ruin it with crappy Orange Juice. Or in the alternative, because I'm saving so much money on Andre, I am happy to spend it on the mixer. Here is the process of of making Orange Juice from Concentrate according to the Bible, Wikipedia,

"Freshly squeezed juice and filtered orange juice is pasteurized and is evaporated under vacuum and heat to remove most of the water before it is frozen. This process strips out certain essences and oils. The concentrated juice, about 65°Bx, is then stored at about +10°F (-12°C). At this point essences and oils, recovered during the vacuum concentration process, are added back to restore the flavor. To make cans of frozen concentrate for sale, filtered water is added back to bring the Brix level down to 42°Bx, about three times the concentration of fresh juice. When water is added to freshly-thawed concentrated orange juice, it is reconstituted."

Gross. How do you make Freshly Squeezed Orange Juice, you ask? Well I'll tell you:
1. Peel Oranges
2. Squeeze

Fin. Now off to work on Sunday....which incidently does not make the grievances listed in this blog.

Virtual Dating

The Offenders:

World Travelers: You've seen Big Ben? Wow, me too (yawn). You do realize it's a clock right? I see three clocks in this room right now.

Extremists: Dear skydivers, in most of those pictures I can see up your nose.

Chester the Molesters: Look there's a picture of you with a kid. Is it yours? *scrolling* No? Oh, I get it, you're letting me know via one picture that you'll make a great dad some day. Noted.

The Blackouts: Why are all of your friends fuzzy? They must be more attractive than you are. FYI: Posting numerous pictures of you and other girls does not connote commitment. Maybe you should be using Craig's List.

Propsters: They wear Groucho Marx glasses, or Halloween costumes from previous years in a desperate attempt to show us they're funny. I can be funny with a paperclip, but you don't see me posting a picture of that, do you?

General Miscreants

Spencer and Heidi.

People who wear open-toed shoes and clearly do not take regular care of their toes.

Parents who do not control their children in restaurants.

Jerks (of any gender) who sit on a bus/subway while someone infirm or with small children or carrying tons of stuff has to stand.

Language Garblers

People who misuse "literally," as in "I'm, like, literally about to explode!"*

People who use the word "irregardless."


* No, you're not.

Vehicular offenders

People who drive on their car doughnuts like they're real tires.

People who leave their turn signal on forever without turning.*


*I believe that "Seinfeld" referred to this as "the eventual left."

People who read PowerPoints to you in a presentation.

People who leave their trash in front of the Dumpster without putting it in.

People who steal their term papers from the first hit they get on the Internet.